Troubled by:

Global war?

Ignorance of the fact that, despite popular opinion and big-budget Hollywood films to the contrary, the new millennium doesn't begin until 2001?

Rising U-Haul bills?

Bill's sex life?

Bad hair?

Falling soufflés?

Fret no more. Out in the Mountains is your complete community resource, and we're here for you in your time of need. Starting with the February issue, every month we'll bring you a feature that sheds light on life's little confusions. Or not.

Every month, Ask a... will feature a different community expert -- often with tongue firmly in cheek -- answering your questions, requests for advice and pleas for help.

Every month, we'll tell you who's handling next issue's questions, so you'll always know to whom you should address your questions. (Don't be afraid to suggest featured advisors, either. We can't promise, but we'll try.)

So with imagined blare of trumpets, we're proud to announce that the inaugural edition will be Ask a Drag Queen, with Yolanda gracing the helm.

Make your questions specific, make your questions general, just make your questions appear in our office by the 12th of the month if you want them answered in the next issue.

You can mail your questions to us at:

Or 'Ask a Drag Queen' via email... Click here to ask Yolanda a question.

Remember, Yolanda is sitting at home RIGHT NOW, waiting for your letters. Don't disappoint her.

The fine print: All letters received are subject to our regular publication policy and may be edited for length, clarity, or our own amusement. Publication depends on volume of letters received and cannot be guaranteed. OITM accepts no responsibility for the quality of advice or humor delivered. First come, first served. Caveat emptor. Ad hoc. This coupon has no cash value. Void where prohibited. No refunds. Hypoallergenic. Some assembly required. Not available in stores. Unsuitable for children under three years of age. No user-serviceable parts inside. Column may cause coma or death if duct-taped over face, swallowed in whole or in part, inhaled, or read at a Republican convention. No purchase necessary, but we'd sure appreciate it. Do not remove this tag. No animals were harmed in the production of this announcement and the column will not be tested on animals. God save the Queen.